Click here to read ‘Fade’ if you haven’t.
She was playing Adele’s album and the curtains were still drawn down. It was 10am Monday morning.
Yes, Emeka said he needed to find himself and so she needed distractions.
She picked up her phone and decided she’ll be more responsive to other people but it felt like she was invisible. Everybody seemed to be busy with their happy life.
She’s been in this position before.
She knows how to get past it.
She had gotten past it with Elvis, her first love. When he broke up with her it wasn’t as mild as Emeka had done.
Her relationship with Elvis had been childish now that she thinks of it, but she had loved the sweet innocence of it. Him waiting for her until her lectures were over, she doing the same. The texts and calls which happened more times than they ate in a day. The kisses and tight hugs.
Then on their one year anniversary in 2011, he had gone for an old school boys reunion and she wasn’t his date. She had called all day because that’s how she is. He didn’t pick, so she logged into his Facebook account(They had exchanged each others password because, like I said, childish love).
She saw a message from “Nenye” at the top of his Facebook messages and she opened to read the latest which was Dec16.
Elvis Obiora: Hun, are u still going 2 b my date for dat occasion?
Nenye Agu: Ah, u don’t av 2 ask again Elvis. M even planning on wearin dat dress you bought 4 me. 🙂
She had scrolled up to see if he had met Nenye before her but felt worse when she saw their first chat ever which was dated Oct31st.
Elvis Obiora: Hey pretty, tnx 4 accepting my fwnd request.
Damn. She couldn’t continue so she logged off and sent him a message on bbm. At least this way she’ll know when he had read it.
FabChisom: do u know a Nenye Agu?
(Her blackberry tour network was on 3g so the message already has “d” on it, then “r” in the same second.)
KingElvis: saw ur calls, it’s loud here so we can’t talk. Yh she’s my cousin.
Chisom: is she wit u?
FabChisom: liar! Player no. 1. Douche bag!
KingElvis: I’m tired of u. it’s ova Chisom.
(The above chats, occurred in 2011, just incase you found the shorthand irritating.). She didn’t believe it so she called and he picked this time and said “It’s over Chisom. O. V. E. R.”
He really did spell it. She didn’t even get closure – took her 2 years and many short term relationships to get over him. Then she met Emeka and he did the same at the end, only milder.
This was not the kind of distraction she needed. She shook her head to erase the painful memories and paid attention to the WhatsApp message she had subconsciously read. It was from Emma. He was asking what she’ll want for her birthday.
She replied without thinking “A lesser heart”
Time traveled but you still missed Chisom. You dated another one after her. You would have believed you loved her if you had never been with Chisom-but you’ve been with her. You know how generous, forgiving and simple love can be.
You lied when you said you wanted to find yourself. You just wanted more or was it less of what you had with her. And now you had regrets.
You missed her laughter, her voice, her touch, her witty response… her big heart.
You missed kissing her lips, the sugar taste which you never seemed to get enough of.
You missed lying down next to her-the way you held yourselves like you were transiting into one being. She was everything you needed. Then and now.
Now you’re as lonely as a picture on the wall.
You look at the gold card and the names richly printed on it
“Chisom weds Emma <3”
She has sent you her wedding invitation card.
You can hear oruka ti dowona playing from a distance.